While people can change and grow, some questionable personality traits are deep-rooted and may not be able to help themselves and need behavioral intervention. Unfortunately, family members can become the target who need to care about their self-preservation. This online community shares an extensive library of life experiences that may help you recognize similar problems.
1. Abuse of Any Kind
Abusers hardly change, several people on the thread conclude. Someone says their redline of red flags is in the abuse or neglect of children, the elderly, the disabled, or animals. A second user chides, arguing that abuse of people who are not vulnerable too is always a red flag, irrespective of how long it’s been.
2. Sexual Offenders
One user cites a controversial scenario involving a convicted sex offender who seems to have found a different life 30 years later, asking if he should be judged with much disdain, having kept a clean sheet for so long after serving his sentence.
One person says he doesn’t mind being a friend if he’s truly changed, but he wouldn’t judge parents with children if they don’t feel safe around him, irrespective of the positive changes a sexual offender may project.
3. Marital Infidelity
While this is a blurry red flag that may border more on moral standing, one thread participant says when he asked his then-girlfriend what her regrets in life were, she said, “Having affairs with three married men in my twenties.” What’s surprising is that they got divorced later because she had an affair with another married man while married. A second user says they are divided between reacting by laughing or crying.
4. Tendency for Violence
Someone explains how a guy pulled a knife on his brother, threatening to kill him over a woman years ago. He says everyone in the family has forgiven him, including his brother, but he doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. A second person says he has a “Perfectly valid” reason not to.
5. Animal Cruelty
Describing her experience with a cruel person, one woman explains how her ex and his friend stuck a pencil in a cat’s bum for fun. That was a red flag she never got over. Someone else, replying, says they had their exact experience, and it haunts them to this day.
6. Childhood Bullying
Some bullies ascribe their excesses in their younger days to the immaturity of youth, but several contributors on the thread say they never have it. One person shares an experience involving a former school bully sending a friend request on Facebook, “The guts to send a request after putting a dead cat in my locker in high school makes me cringe,” he explains, apparently still upset even over the internet.
7. Lying About Finances
A first user says they’ll never trust someone who lies about “Money or financial issues.” A second user replies, arguing it isn’t always black and white and that revealing how much in debt they are has been a menace to their chances of landing a date as no one wants to be with a debtor. A third user suggests student debt should be a regular thing. “It’s pretty common and nothing to be ashamed of,” she insists.
8. Hyper-Controlling Behavior
People who are big on control don’t change; several contributors on the thread agree, with some saying controlling behaviors are symptoms of deeper issues victims of controllers may not be seeing. One user cites the “Alpha male” trend, highlighting it contravenes every measuring sextant of mutual respect.
9. Name Calling
One woman argues that people who call others names, especially when miffed, hardly ever stop, advising forum members to avoid relationships with foul-mouthed individuals irrespective of how long it’s been. Several users say they agree and may continue to see name-callers the same way, even if they lay claim to attitudinal changes in the future.
10. People With Anger Issues
Anger is a universal emotion, but some thread users think people who cannot control their anger are walking time bombs waiting to explode. According to a contributor on the thread, people with anger issues are difficult to initiate conversations with since you wouldn’t know when you could step on their emotional minds and have things blow up quickly.
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 This article was initially published and syndicated on The Cents of Money.Â
Source: Reddit.
