Funny quotes about life and sayings that are inspirational can be the much-needed mood booster people need when life gives you lemons, or even just for a Monday morning! It’s great to keep some hilariously positive quotes handy to laugh at and help lighten up a bit.
Finding a work-life balance, getting a warm meal on the table, getting kids to their activities, and managing the household can put a lot of parents in a situation where stress can be high and spirits can get low. Yes, a vacation would work wonders! But small pick-me-ups like a hot cup of coffee, watching a funny show, or reading a funny quote can also help!
The following are the funniest quotes from comedians, actors, politicians, and even scientists who have a good sense of humor and are optimists. Many were likely overcoming their challenges but could still tell some funny jokes and give their audience a good laugh.
Here are some wise yet funny quotes about life. Enjoy!
- “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
- “If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play, and z is keeping your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
- “Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
- “Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.” – Jerry Seinfeld
- “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” – Theodore Roosevelt
- “Sanity is very rare; every man almost and every woman has a dash of madness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
- “The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” – Isaac Asimov
- “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” – Groucho Marx
- “Good things aren’t supposed to just fall into your lap. God is very generous, but He expects you to do your part first.” – Audrey Hepburn
- “There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.” – Aristotle
- “Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin
- “I tell you, in this world being a little crazy helps to keep you sane.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
- “You save 15 more minutes of sleep if you are a man and you don’t have to shave.” – Zack Galifianakis
- “Never have more children than you have car windows.” – Erma Bombeck
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
- “Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.” Ellen Degeneres
- “You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.” – Ronald Reagan
- “I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “I think if someone gets kicked in the face, it is their fault – they watched the foot come towards their face.” – Kevin Hart
- “The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
- “I believe alien life is quite common in the universe, although intelligent life is less so. Some say it has yet to appear on planet Earth.” – Stephen Hawking
- “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Khalil Gibran
- “When we are born, we cry, that we are come to this great stage of fools.” – William Shakespeare
- “If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.- Maya Angelou
- “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
- “I’m single because I was born that way.” – Mae West
- “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
- “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade….and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” – Ron White
- “My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.” – Forest Gump (the movie)
- “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde
- “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.” – Phyllis Diller
- “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
- “Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.” – Lou Erickson
- “The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
- “In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” – Fran Lebowitz
- “You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
- “If you can do what you do best and be happy, you are further along in life than most people.” – Leonardo DiCaprio
- “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley
- “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire
- “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are cheese.” – Luis Bunuel
- “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” – Maya Angelou
- “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
- “To those of you who received honors, awards, and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say you too can be president of the United States.” – George W. Bush
- “Imagination was given to us to compensate for what we are not; a sense of humor was given to us to console us for what we are.” – Mark McGinnis
- “Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.” – Lily Tomlin
- “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.” – Will Rogers
- “Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” – Doug Larson
- “I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” – Stephen Hawking
Funny Quotes Can Be Calming
Make a printout, write your favorite funny quotes about life on post-it notes and place them around the house, and repeat the ones that resonate with you the most in your head!
Reading funny and inspirational quotes, especially by people who have overcome obstacles, can have a calming effect. These quotes are messages from people reminding us that although life can be challenging, there’s still a part of us that can laugh about it!
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