A Reddit user shared her story of wanting to move but fearing making her mom and sister homeless in the process. She wants her independence and is very responsible for her family.
The original poster (OP) explained that she lives in an apartment with her mom and sister. She goes to school, takes care of her household responsibilities, and pays rent. She cleans up after herself and everyone else. Even though she pays rent, OP said her mom still treats her like a child and expects her to follow all her rules.
This included attending her church and doing church activities until OP started working more and changed her schedule for college. OP also has a curfew and strict rules about going out and having people over. She has to ask permission and can be denied for any reason. OP has a girlfriend and can’t do more than hold her hand when she comes over.
They must be watched, and OP isn’t allowed to go to her girlfriend’s unless someone else is home at both houses. OP has told her mother that she wants to be treated more like an adult, but she refuses, saying it’s her house and, therefore, her rules. OP is supposed to be getting child support to cover her college education, but it ends up going to her mom for rent.
OP thinks she should be treated more like a roommate because, technically, she is. OP’s girlfriend is moving to a city OP loves for college. It’s quite a ways away, but OP said it is beautiful and a lot warmer than where she is currently. She is considering moving with her girlfriend. If she moves, her mom will lose child support, and since the apartment is a three-bedroom, she could lose that, too.
OP said she doesn’t want to leave them homeless, but she needs some independence and wants to stay close to her girlfriend. One of OP’s friends said she shouldn’t go because her sister hasn’t done anything wrong and needs a roof over her head.
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The Masses Weigh In
The Reddit community wholeheartedly supported OP making the move.
One user said, “NTA Your mother can downsize and you’re an adult that should be out experiencing life, if you’re able to afford it. You are not responsible for housing your mother and sister.”
Another user had some great advice for OP. “Give her notice. Tell her as you are an adult, and because she has given you the ultimatum of “it’s her house and her rules” , you believe that you should move out. Make sure to include that as you contribute to the bills but get treated as a child it is not a healthy environment for you. If she argues and makes a scene and or threats, end the conversation on the spot and say “I’m sorry you are unable to be an adult about this.” Make sure you have all important documents (birth certificate social security card and anything else) in your possession first, as she might try to keep them from you.”
Should OP move out and go with her girlfriend? Or should she stay to ensure her mother and sister aren’t homeless? How would you react in this situation?
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With a passion for investing and personal finance, I began The Cents of Money to help and teach others. My experience as an equity analyst, professor, and mom provide me with unique insights about money and wealth creation and a desire to share with you.