According to my grandmother, “Poor or rich, money is good to have.” We need money to pay our living expenses and support who and what we care about most. Raising a family or taking care of our parents requires funds for health care, education, and the opportunity to enjoy the beauty of life. It can help us make a difference in the lives of others through giving.

Without money to pay our bills or invest, we may fall short of achieving our life’s goals and having financial security, independence, and freedom.

Money Isn’t Everything!

Money isn’t everything. It has its limitations. Obsession over money and wealth is unhealthy, mainly when it controls your life. It may prevent us from ever being satisfied with our life by continually needing to compare ourselves to others. Money matters because it is the tool we need in the absence of bartering. However, many things are more valuable and can help us achieve our full potential. Focus on those values that make you content. Review the values listed on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Self-actualization is the pinnacle of our self-fulfillment needs.

As individuals, we each have our list of personal values that give meaning to our lives. These values shape our personality, behavior, and attitudes. How often do we reflect on those traits that make us who we are? It is an excellent exercise to do to make sure you are going in the right direction. Since we serve as role models for our children, we need to be sure we send the signals we want them to see. They are worthy of us doing a check on our values and beliefs, which make us tick.

What We Value, Besides Money

 

1. Time Is A Precious Resource

Time is money, but it is so much more. If there is inequality in money and wealth, we have the same limited time. You can’t borrow or lend time at any cost. Anyone who loses family and friends knows the tragedy of time running out.

You can’t buy time unless you can pay someone to do a task for you, which may temporarily free you to do other things. But you can’t buy time in a permanent sense, no matter how much money you have.

Time is our most precious resource. As such, spend your time with people you most enjoy being with or doing what you most desire. Don’t waste your time; use it in productive ways.  Think in terms of daily accomplishments and whether you have achieved what you wanted to do. Like money, invest your time meaningfully. Find ways how to improve your time management skills here.

2. Manage Your Energy Wisely

Somewhat related to time is how we manage our energy. Energy affects our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We all have limits to what our mind and body can do. What is personal energy or power? It is the amount of effort or strength you are willing to devote to people, things, or challenges in your life.

There are people in our lives who are delightful. We get a good boost from spending our time and energy with them. Other people may deplete our energy through negative behavior or attitudes. In this challenging year, the pandemic has weighed on our lives by making it difficult to see our friends and families. We may have saved time and energy by working remotely, but we lost the uplift from seeing people in the office. Indeed, driving to work may give us the power of the bridge, separating our home from our jobs.

3. Your Health Is Our Vital Asset

We can’t take our health–physical, mental, and emotional-for granted. Yet, we often do this by not taking as good care of our body and mind as we can.  What is your health worth? Like time, it is priceless and precious. Eating healthy, daily exercising, and getting a good night’s sleep shouldn’t be hard to do. They are good habits to incorporate into your mindset. Even short daily movements have helped me loosen up considerably.

Recently, I complained to a friend about being more stressed about more things lately. He recommended several meditation sessions to try out. A few of the sessions were particularly helpful, so I work on those. Changing up your routine with good habits can be stimulating. 

I look forward to reading at night, playing music that fits my mood, and understanding my emotions better.

4. Family,  Friends, And Community

“First be a person who needs people. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

Bob Merrill, lyricist Sung by Barbra Streisand

We need our family and friends for their love, affection, companionship, and to validate us. I come from a tiny family where friends were family and family were friends. The pandemic experience has required us to social distance for safety reasons. However, we have grown tired of this pandemic and staying apart from people we love. Human beings just don’t enjoy isolation. We thrive when we are with other people who are essential in our lives. They contribute to our sense of belonging, comfort, and self-worth and add to our lives’ meaning.

Community And Colleagues

Apart from family and friends, it is your community and your neighbors. Community is where you live and your colleagues at work. Work and community are spheres where you may meet new friends. We recently moved from a big city to a small town. We changed communities just before the pandemic is the ideal time for you to meet new friends. Our kids are fortunate to have met and formed relationships with good friends when they were at school. Those relationships have carried over to online and social media.

5. The Right Life Partner

Choosing the right partner you want to spend your life with is easier said than done. Only after years together can you look back and say you are fortunate to find someone to be with until you are old and gray. When you are in your 20s, how do you know if you both have the same interests, intellect, and standards?

You don’t. However, by loving one another and finding someone with who you can connect easily, learn from, trust, respect, and grow, you have the making of the right life partner.

My Life Partner

Speaking of myself, Craig and I connected instantly in what feels like a lifetime ago. We have similar interests, enjoy each other’s company. Challenges are in every relationship but knowing how to deal with each of them matters. Craig has always been my incredible support, and we both learn from each other when we have different interests or opinions. I feel lucky that we have built a tremendous enduring bond that has remained strong through the high demands of having active teens and two dogs.

6. The Virtues of Work

“Choose a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Mark Twain

It has been my great fortune to find meaningful work most of my career. Every individual should explore what kind of work they most enjoy doing. For some, it is working with their hands to craft a tangible product. Many feel rewarded by helping others, while a significant number prefer making lots of money to afford a luxury lifestyle. To each, their own goals and road to success.

I have always found challenging work to be enterprising and energizing. Working has allowed me to grow my knowledge and skills outside of my home. With so many people unemployed these days, I feel blessed to have a job that will enable me to teach remotely. The virtues of working are plentiful. Work adds meaningful dimensions to your life besides compensation. I have learned new skills, expanding my knowledge, cultivating my career and reputation. Read more on the virtues of work here. 

7. Love of Learning

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.”

Henry Ford

By being a lifelong learner, you can look at the world with fresh eyes. Learning can be formal, informal, or casual. You don’t have to learn in the classroom to pick up knowledge. Most of our education comes from outside of an academic setting. Picking up new information or realizing an original thought can give new highs and optimism. Whether you are learning for a career, hobby, or personal growth, never stop learning. There are only benefits to be found in lifelong learning.

Keep your brain healthy by find activities you enjoy and challenge yourself. There are so many resources and ways to learn. I have overcome some of my anxiety by improving how to cook, updating my tech skills, working on crossword puzzles, writing better, reading books I may have shied away from, and more. Chess is one of those games that I have genuinely wanted to learn how to play.

The Queen’s Gambit

I was fascinated by watching The Queen’s Gambit recently. Netflix’s series is a story of an orphan, Beth Harmon, who aspires to play chess in the male-oriented competitive world of the 1950s and 1960s. I played chess (poorly) with anyone who would play with me (only my brother) when I was in grade school. However, I would watch these intense chess players while strolling through Washington Square Park in New York City. It was so cool! Playing chess may have eluded me, but it has always sparked my interest in learning.

8. Protect Your Reputation

“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”

Warren Buffett

Buffett’s quote on reputation is priceless. Your reputation is your brand, whether it is for a business or you. I cannot understate the importance of how you are regarded by your social circles, at work, and in your family. Reputation is your character and quality as judged by people. It forms the basis of respect and the currency of your worth. Cultivate traits like honesty, integrity, honor, and strong morals that should be in the workplace and your life. Manage your online presence for the quality of your character you are conveying.

The ruin of your reputation usually comes more quickly and efficiently than its establishment. It can be due to a lapse of ethical conduct or doing something legally questionable. Don’t post on social media without considering potential negative ramifications.

Rule of Thumb For Questionable Posts

If you are unsure, use the rule of thumb for questionable posts. That means first considering what others–friends, family, colleagues, your current or future employers–may think.

Words, photos, videos, or anything that are reflections of you and your values may last in cyberspace for all time. Protect your reputation carefully but not at all costs, which may make it harder to restore. Even now, you may already have some questionable items that may cause harm to you in the future. For example, you may want to pull that drinking contest you won with a trophy filled with bourbon, even if it is a relic of your past.

9. Experiences Over Possessions

Having experiences top buying things most of the time for me. Unique experiences tend to be more memorable and pleasurable. Traveling by camel in the desert, ziplining, and whitewater rafting bring tremendous rushes to our adrenaline. 

Studies have shown experiences bring people more happiness than do possessions. In their 2014 study, psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Thomas Gilovich found it wasn’t just the experiential purchases (money spent on doing) that provided more joy than material possessions (money spent on having). The joy of waiting in line for the experience gave participants enduring pleasure as well as consumption. Millennials are known for their preference for spending on experiences, but boomers also favored experiences in this study. 

In a 2018 study with the Center For Generational Kinetics, Expedia found 74% of Americans prioritize experiences over products. Travel tops the list of experiences that make us happy the most. Of course, these results were before the pandemic when we were able to take trips. As a result of the pandemic, experiential purchases such as traveling, concerts, and movies, have declined. No doubt, the experience economy and sharing it with others has suffered as well.

10. Find Your Passions

Passion is a powerful emotion defined as a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement about doing something. Your passionate interests maybe those areas of topics, skills, or activities that excite you. Being passionate is often beyond a mere interest in something and can be an internal energy source. Like experiences, you are more engaged and engrossed in the activity or learning more about it.

Finding your passion in your job or career can motivate you to improve your performance. You don’t need to work in a position that directly aligns with your interests, but there could be an overlap between your work and other activities. Being excited about interests outside of work has its benefits. It allows you to develop new skills, meet new people, and expand your personal growth in a more balanced way.

For many years, I collected coins as a hobby, starting with Indian Head pennies, which led to my interest in the history of Native Americans, which I still am engrossed in today. Later, my husband and I became serious collectors of 18th Century American furniture and art, learning about American history.   I am always fascinated to know what passions other people have in their lives.

11. Gratitude and Empathy

“He who receives a benefit with gratitude repays the first installment on his debt.”

Seneca

Expressing our thanks to all those we love and appreciate can help us live better lives—both the givers and the receivers of our gratitude experience many advantages. Our happiness rises, we feel healthier, stress declines, and it helps us cope with a range of negative emotions. Gratitude is our moral barometer and, when genuinely given, boosts our energy. Expressing gratitude is good for our finances as well.

Gratitude has been studied extensively in the past two decades. As such, gratitude is a “gateway’ to other positive emotions– joy, pride, motivation, and wonder.

A Shared Role In Our Brain

Gratitude is on par with empathy. Empathy, a relatively new term, is defined as the ability to understand and share another’s feelings. Having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another is empathetic. Scientists have linked gratitude and empathy because there is an exact role played by each in the medial prefrontal cortex  (MPFC) part of the brain. That part of the brain helps people set and achieve goals and contributes to a wide area of functions.

Feeling grateful and empathic are enduring values that produce benefits for the giver and receiver.

12. Financial Security

Sooner or later, I wanted to get back to money as the value we share with those mentioned earlier. Achieving financial security provides peace of mind when your income can cover your expenses; after having saved for emergencies and your retirement. Financial security requires adopting good habits that can support your lifestyle while you work toward financial goals. Becoming financially secure means not worrying about credit card debt because you pay your bills in full and will not pay interest charges. 

The importance of feeling financially secure allows you to have flexibility and freedom to control your life. Financial security means different things for different people. For me, it means working at a job for less pay but feels more rewarding when teaching college students. I feel fulfilled at the prospect of sharing what I know with others. Being able to schedule my time better helps me to face the needs of my family better.

Final Thoughts

Money isn’t everything, but it matters when you don’t have enough to pay your bills. Besides money, there is much to value in our life. We should protect, honor, cherish and nurture these values for giving meaning to our lives.

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