If you’re reading this, you’ve probably already heard of the looming zombie invasion of Canada. Don’t worry; thanks to countless men and women who recently met in an online discussion, I’ve uncovered a handful of secure Canadian cities that will enable anyone to ride out the attack safely. If you live in or around these places, consider yourself protected from the flesh-eating monsters. However, if you cannot travel to these cities in the next few hours, I only have one word of advice: Godspeed.
1. Hornsby, British Columbia
When surviving the zombie apocalypse, wouldn’t you want to ride it out on a quaint island like Hornsby? “One of the small islands on the coast of British Columbia, like Hornsby, or someplace like that would be ideal,” reveals one woman. “Hornsby is a small island with a low population, has access to the ocean, and is one of the most hospitable climates in the country.”
2. New Westminster, British Columbia
One possibly misguided woman meekly suggests New Westminster, British Columbia, for one reason: The city has an abundance of hills, which would make it harder for the zombies to attack. I suppose she has a point, but every zombie movie I’ve ever seen shows zombies easily walking (or running) up inclines — those New Westminster hills must be mountain-like!
3. Ottawa, Ontario
According to many residents, Ottawa — the capital of Canada — is the place to be during a zombie invasion because there are no brains for zombies to eat! “If they are the kind of zombies that eat brains, Parliament Hill would be like repellent for them, so go there — you’ll be safe and sound,” one Canadian dryly suggests.
4. Pelee Island, Ontario
According to countless Canadians, Pelee Island would be the ideal place to wait out a zombie invasion. From the island’s abundance of first-rate farmland, plenty of fresh water (the town is located in the middle of Lake Erie, after all), fish, and its established economy, it would undeniably be safe from zombies. But everyone’s sure these zombies can’t swim, right?
5. Whitehorse, Yukon
Savvy people believe the most secure place would be any city in the far north region of Canada due to the frigid weather, Whitehorse in particular. One Canadian uses zombie science to explain his reasoning. “I don’t care what else you say; as long as zombies are made of human tissue, they won’t be able to function in extremely cold weather,” she attests.
6. Briar Island, Nova Scotia
Many people point out the benefits of waiting out the invasion at Briar Island for one reason: it takes two ferries to get there! What kind of zombie would waste their time taking not one but two ferries just to eat human brains? I imagine they’d see the arduous route Google Maps suggests to them, and then they’d hastily devise plans to devour other cities’ citizens instead.
7. Toronto, Ontario
One Toronto resident brings the Covid-related sass to his zombie preparation suggestion. “Any downtown tech company office in Toronto would be perfect to ride out an invasion,” she explains. “It’s been quiet as a crypt since the pandemic, and these tech buildings will have big supplies of junk food waiting for the lonely zombie survivor to consume.”
8. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
The typical Canadian’s reasoning for suggesting Saskatoon as the perfect place to survive is straightforward: the city is so barren and desolate that the zombies won’t even care to attack. Wow, shots have been fired at poor Saskatoon by fellow Canadians! Inquiring minds need to know: is it really that bad there?
9. Douglas Lake, British Columbia
In the event of a zombie apocalypse, you need to work as a team, which is why farm communities like Douglas Lake are perfect towns to wait out an invasion! “You need to be in the area of farms and ranches and work as a team with neighbors,” advises one man. “Anyone thinking they can protect what’s theirs by themselves is dreaming.”
10. Cape Breton, Nova Scotia
Although Cape Breton may be a bizarre choice to wait out a zombie invasion at first thought, many Canadians bring up a good point. To achieve total safety from the attack, you’d have to destroy the city’s only bridge connecting it to the mainland. The zombies would have difficulty getting to anyone once the bridge comes down!
Source:Â Reddit.
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