Family ties are undoubtedly some of the strongest bonds in our lives. We share laughter, create lasting memories, and support each other through thick and thin. However, navigating boundaries can be complex when it comes to financial matters. Here are 12 wise ways shared by members of an online forum to set monetary limits with family members.
1. Establish Clear Boundaries
A user shares that despite being “very, very hard,” the best thing to do is keep a precise budgeted amount. If you’re asked to provide a loan, be stern about the loan terms and when you expect to receive it back.
2. Staying Lowkey
Maintaining financial stability doesn’t mean you should flaunt it. Another user wisely suggests not disclosing your money situation to any family members. Even if you know they want the best for you, it won’t be long before those loan requests flood in.
3. Conditional Lending
A forum member recommends a conditional approach if you lend money to a loved one. They state only to lend money once the previous loan has been repaid. This way, you establish a precedent of responsibility and accountability.
4. Buying Instead of Giving
One suggests a practical alternative: if your family members need assistance, consider buying essential items for them instead of handing out plain cash. For example, you could pay for some of their necessary groceries. “Free money is more addictive than drugs themselves, in my opinion,” they comment.
5. Gifts Over Loans
Reflecting on their experiences, a member advises never to lend to family, only to give what you can. This approach can alleviate the stress of asking for it back. If they choose to repay, it’s a pleasant surprise, but if not, it won’t strain the relationship.
6. Give What You Can Afford
Now, the previous advice doesn’t mean you keep on giving until your bank gets empty. One member shares, only providing what you can afford not to get back. You might end up loaning a family member the significant savings you were keeping for your dental work, only for it to vanish.
7. Resource Guiding
One recommends directing family members in dire need to resources like 211.org, which helps individuals and families find food, pay bills, and secure housing. You can support them through their journey of finding suitable funding for themselves rather than being broke yourself.
8. Secure Yourself First
Think about it: What’s the first thing they teach you on an airplane? In case of an emergency, secure your oxygen mask first! Why? Because you will not be able to help anyone if you suffer. Ensure you have an emergency fund, retirement savings, and minimal debt before offering financial assistance.
9. Small Acts of Kindness
Sometimes, it’s the little things that count. Consider taking a thoughtful approach by being kind financially in your everyday life. If you’re borrowing a member’s car, fill their gas up. Small, frequent acts of kindness can make a significant difference and demonstrate your love and support. This way, you won’t be considered stingy when you refuse to lend.
10. Learn To Say No
Lastly, this is the most important thing to learn. A forum user shares a valuable lesson: “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” Being comfortable with declining financial requests when necessary without any guilt is crucial. While it may be difficult, saying no is essential for your long-term financial health.
Source: Reddit.
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This article was initially published and syndicated by The Cents of Money.Â
