His Rich Wife Refuses To Support His Elderly Parents. Is She Right?

The original poster (OP), a 47-year-old husband, turned to an online forum with his frustrations about his wife not pitching in to financially support his parents. Although he agrees it is not her responsibility, she makes significantly more money than he does. He didn’t understand her refusal, reasoning, or the hostility or shock he received from the forum. What do you think?

Husband Wants His Wife To Support His Parents

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OP believes his wife, who makes more money than he does, should help support his parents in retirement. His Dad has Parkinson’s and is in declining health, while his mom, as a caregiver, has challenges taking care of him. He can’t afford live-in care, and his father may need to go into an assisted care home, separating his parents.

Their Finances  Significantly Differ But Are Split Proportionally

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OP’s wife earns significantly more than her husband. She works in private equity while he teaches high school kids. The couple splits their finances equitably, with his wife paying 70% to his 30% share. While his wife makes (£400K aftertax, in UK pounds) or ten times more than his £40K compensation, OP explained that they settled on this split, saying, “We do this as she picks up most of the housework and childcare, and she has taken that into account when splitting the bills.” It can be uncomfortable when one partner makes more money than the other.

Her Family Are Better Off Financially

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Her parents immigrated to the UK, sacrificing so she and her sisters could succeed. His wife and her sisters all have very high-paying jobs, one working in tech and the other being a surgeon.

Recently, her parents retired. His wife and her sisters give their parents around £2K monthly, which OP finds ridiculous if they have pensions. She assured her husband that this money did not come from their joint account. She says it’s her responsibility to take care of her family, while he needs to take care of his parents.

His Family Is Less Financially Secure

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Meanwhile, his parents had government jobs with pensions. His sister lives on benefits and is a single mom. They are a relatively low-income family.

OP’s Young Sister Is A Single Mom Without A Job

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His wife did help his younger sister when she became a single mother at a young age by offering her a secretary job at her office. However, he said,  “My sister quit after a month as she found it too difficult.” Previously, OP had asked for a loan for his sister to buy a house, but his wife declined, believing his sister would never pay her back. It appears his sister doesn’t have a job, so equally unclear how she would pay back a loan to his wife or a mortgage.

Should His Wife Help Support His Parents?

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OP told his wife that his parents were retired, like hers,  and could use her help. His wife told him his parents were his responsibility, and he should give them money from his salary if he could afford it. OP was shocked and angry with his wife, pointing to her capable sisters who made more money while his parents only had their son to depend on.

Their Lifestyle is Lavish

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OP said that his wife has an expensive taste. They live in a house he couldn’t have afforded on his own. They go on multiple holidays, and he pays for his share. She likes lovely presents, which require him to save money in advance.

He Thinks She’s Cheap and Selfish

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OP sees his wife as cheap and selfish as she makes substantial money, has multiple rental properties under her name, and is unwilling to share her bounty with his parents. He explained that it’s been an emotional situation with his father and declining health. OP feels helpless, betrayed, and hurt. He agrees it’s not her responsibility to care for his parents but thinks she should be more empathetic.

The Verdict: OP’s A Real Piece of Work

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The online comments were largely harsh, especially from single moms, towards his expectations that his wife should be helping his parents. They pointed to his wife finding a secretary job at the office for his sister, who quit after a month “because the job was too difficult.” Many saw the OP as entitled since he doesn’t spend much time helping with their daughter or housework. Many wondered if a prenuptial arrangement would protect the wife as her husband had set his eyes on her assets.  Commenters suggested the OP should earn more money by finding a gig like remote tutoring to save more money.


12 Frugal Meals People Eat Even When They’re Rich. Do You?

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When money isn’t a problem, people tend to indulge in all sorts of luxuries they couldn’t afford when they didn’t have excess money to spend. However, sometimes, even when money is easy, there are food items you can’t say “no” to. Here are some of the most addictive, economical meals you can eat, even when money is no issue.

12 Grocery Store Luxuries That People Love To Treat Themselves With

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Sometimes, grocery shopping can be a chore. It can feel like just one more thing to get done during the week, so you don’t have to worry about it during the weekend. When money is tight, it can be even more overwhelming to try and get the best deals on food until you get to that one item you can’t resist. We all do it, splurging on that one food item we can’t do without. To that end, here are some of the most luxurious food choices people must have.

12 Dream Treats People Would Splurge on if Money Were Infinite

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Imagine a reality where your bank account was bottomless and financial constraints vanished. What would you choose to splurge on? Here are 12 dream treats members of an online forum would throw their money at if money were no object.

10 Frivolous Things People Spend Their Money On When They Could Be Saving

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Are you spending your money frivolously on stupid things when dealing with a tight budget, or saving more for emergencies? We all do. Door Dash and Uber Eats? Need I say more? Between the higher menu prices, delivery fees, and tips, you can spend $35 on a single sandwich!

It’s absurd, and yet so many people do it. Worse, they know it’s a waste of money but will continue using the services. I’m guilty of using the delivery apps myself. Someone recently asked on an online forum for other examples of dumb things people waste their hard-earned cash on, and these are the top-voted responses.

Lovingly Limiting Loans: 10 Wise Ways To Set Money Boundaries With Family

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Family ties are undoubtedly some of the strongest bonds in our lives. We share laughter, create lasting memories, and support each other through thick and thin. However, navigating boundaries can be complex when it comes to financial matters. Here are 12 wise ways shared by members of an online forum to set monetary limits with family members.

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